Thursday night was something else, let me tell you.
I ran out of gas whilst driving down Kingston Pike. My first reaction was to pull over and cry for fifteen minutes, and then I started calling people.
Ashley was gone. Didn’t want to call Mom. The first person that it actually made sense to call because I knew he could help was the one person I did not want to call. No answers from the friends I thought might have a gas tank, and the friends who did answer didn’t really know how to help me. So, I called Matt — and he came with a gallon of gas and got me immediately, then followed me to the gas station to make sure I was okay, and hugged me while I cried a little bit more.
First rule of thumb when it comes to cars and gas and running out of gas on the side of the road (especially when it’s pouring rain): don’t count on a gas light to inform you that you need gas… some cars don’t have them. Second rule: make sure that you are never without a friend who keeps a gas tank in their car. Third rule: keep a baseball cap in your car so that when you’re done crying, you can put on the hat and no one will know.
It seems fitting to me that Thursday was a night full of rain and tears — for more reasons than one. It was, after all, Maundy Thursday, and the songs we were singing, the words we were reading, the message we were hearing… all were reminders of Christ’s sacrifice. BIG DEAL, friends. And it got me to thinking: in my life, oughtn’t the new year begin on Easter Sunday? For what better day to begin a new year than the day on which Christ died so that I could have this blessed new life.
I’ve been falling into a place of complacency lately. Big time. BIG TIME. Complacency with my school work, complacency with diabetes care, complacency with my relationships, complacency in my relationship with Christ… complacency all around, and it’s not okay. I’ve been doing only what needed to be done, but never putting forth the extra effort. The excellency I have always striven for has been pushed aside because I’m tired… and yet, being tired is no excuse for not caring.
I look at my life and am utterly overwhelmed by the blessings which have been poured out on me. I have a dream apartment. A dream roommate. A car that is AWESOME, and a convertible to borrow when the Subaru is sick. A family who is always there for me. Friends who drop anything if I need them. A great school with great professors from which I get a great education. A choir that has welcomed me with open arms. A church that is home. I have talent, and ability, and a brain that thinks and comprehends. I have food and shelter and clothing and all the basic necessities plus so much more — and still, I’m content to just sit and watch as the world goes by. Yet I am called to do so much more than just watch. I’m called to live. To glorify. To rejoice.
It’s time for a call to action. Today is a reminder of the overwhelming, unfathomable sacrifice that Christ made for us so that we could have new life.
This morning, we sang one of my favorite hymns — “Before the Throne of God Above” — and the third verse hit me like a train going 3,000 miles an hour.
Behold Him there the risen Lamb,
My perfect spotless righteousness,
The great unchangeable I AM,
The King of glory and of grace.
One in Himself I cannot die,
My soul is purchased by His blood,
My life is hid with Christ on high,
With Christ my Savior and my God!
“MY SOUL IS PURCHASED BY HIS BLOOD.” Holy hell, friends. That line… is it possible for love to be any deeper or realer or purer than a love such as that? He died for me. He died for you. He died for us — to give us a chance at real life.
Yesterday, today, tomorrow — I am awestricken by the unboundless, unchangeable, glorious love of my Father. I beg of you, friends: if you have fallen into complacency, step out of that. God didn’t send his son so that we could be complacent and content… he sent his son to give us the chance to love him, and love him well.
Christ is risen. He is risen indeed!