I have had the busiest weekend imaginable, followed by the busiest week imaginable, and my brain is in the process of shutting down. I wish (oh, how I wish) that I could say that I successfully managed to get everything done in a timely manner… but I didn’t.
That is to say, yesterday I managed to sleep through an exam. Today, I woke up halfway through my first class (in which a paper was due). I’m in the process of rescheduling yesterday’s exam, and the paper was emailed in within ten minutes of waking up — but let’s be honest here. This week… I am a hot mess. My room is a wreck, I haven’t had time to blog,* and I am exhausted — and that’s only scratching the tip of the iceberg.
Yet in all of this, there have been some beautiful upsides. First: I was in a panic thinking that my Greek exam was yesterday — instead, it is tomorrow! Second: Chaucer was canceled yesterday. Third: my friend Kristin brought me Thin Mints, and fourth: today as I was walking to Greek, a random young man handed me a letter telling his testimony, and what a blessing it was! (More on that later).
But all of this is just life, no more and no less. And now that my rant is done… on to the real point. This past weekend.
When I was fifteen, I was blessed to attend a weekend retreat called Chrysalis.* It changed my life. I recall one moment in the weekend when I sat at the altar and prayed for two hours… and when I was done, my entire perspective had changed. God loved me, and I knew it more than I ever had known it before — all the stupid decisions I’d made, the things that I’d swept under the rug? They were gone. I was white as snow.
From that moment, I’d like to think that my life turned around… but if I’m honest, it didn’t. I still made stupid decisions (and I still do make stupid decisions). I was still very fallible and very human — but I knew that I was loved, and I did my best to live a life more reflective of Christ. It wasn’t that I didn’t know him before — I did. But that weekend showed me the full extent of God’s love (as much as we can understand it, at least), and it was the beginning of a real, personal, intimate relationship with a God who is my DADDY.
It only makes sense that after having gone through my Chrysalis flight, I would want to get involved and help other folks have that same life-changing experience… and so I did. 5 and a half years later, I have worked ten of the eleven flights that have taken place and am now a full-fledged member of the Great Smoky Mountain Chrysalis Board. Chrysalis holds such a huge, huge place in my heart (and faith journey) that I truly cannot even begin to express it… bringing me to this past weekend.
Like I mentioned in my last post, I have a hard time saying no and am quite gifted at planning things… and this applies to Chrysalis in a great way. I take on a lot of responsibility. I love it, but I love it so much that I can’t say no to anything and then become Zombie-woman because I have too much to do and no time.
This past flight was no exception — and yet in all of that, with distractions and sleep-deprivation and a myriad of problems arising — what a beautiful thing God did. I cannot begin to express how incredible it is to watch those kids experience God’s agape love (some for the first time). It is mind-boggling… and I get to be a part of this every six months.
Holy hell, am I a blessed young woman.
God did great, great things this weekend. I was but one piece of the puzzle that is Chrysalis — and I cannot express how grateful I am to be that small part. So blessed. I am so, so blessed.
*Currently sacrificing sleep to blog. Necessary.
*If, after reading this, you would like to know more about Chrysalis, please contact me! There are also young adult and adult versions (called Journey and Walk to Emmaus), and I would love to tell you more.